" ...And Dr Kannahamaru,
we need to talk"
Rocky looked at the stranger in awe. Probably because of the cold efficiency by which she pinned the werewolves to the wall.
"Who are you?"
"I am the one who just saved your sorry asses"
Rocky just grinned idiotically. He didn't seem interested in defending us.
Kannahamaru on the other hand looked concerned but otherwise unfazed by her rather stern remark.
"We had it under control. Rocky here is mean with the acetylene torch. Kannahamaru is a master tactician. There wasn't really a scenario where the werewolves get better of us."
Said I
"You- whatever you want to tell me, you can say it infront of them"
Rocky looked at the stranger in awe. Probably because of the cold efficiency by which she pinned the werewolves to the wall.
"Who are you?"
"I am the one who just saved your sorry asses"
Rocky just grinned idiotically. He didn't seem interested in defending us.
Kannahamaru on the other hand looked concerned but otherwise unfazed by her rather stern remark.
"We had it under control. Rocky here is mean with the acetylene torch. Kannahamaru is a master tactician. There wasn't really a scenario where the werewolves get better of us."
Said I
"You- whatever you want to tell me, you can say it infront of them"
"I'm a robot sent back in time to..."
"Save us from skynet ?"
"No make sure that my parents marry each other?
Asked Rocky. (2)
" You're no robot."
Said kannahamaru.
The werewolves' bodies were vaporizing in front of us
"Oh"
Said the robot-not
I thought she was bothered about the fuming bodies of the werewolves.
"I am a robot"
Said her
"No you're not."
Kannahamaru was not giving up. He scribbled something on to a piece of paper.
"Here, what does it read?"
Asked him showing her the paper which now had some sort of a pictogram. "
"Orange"
Said she
"You're a human".
" What you just answered was a Turing test (3)"
And what you just given was the average human response. See, what does it read?"
Kannahamaru asked us
"Orange"
Answered Rocky and I dutifully.
"See your response is in par with average human responce"
We smiled.
"But.."
She began to sob, "I am a robot."
She produced a small knife with slim blade from her belt and made an insicion on her left wrist.
"Save us from skynet ?"
"No make sure that my parents marry each other?
Asked Rocky. (2)
" You're no robot."
Said kannahamaru.
The werewolves' bodies were vaporizing in front of us
"Oh"
Said the robot-not
I thought she was bothered about the fuming bodies of the werewolves.
"I am a robot"
Said her
"No you're not."
Kannahamaru was not giving up. He scribbled something on to a piece of paper.
"Here, what does it read?"
Asked him showing her the paper which now had some sort of a pictogram. "
"Orange"
Said she
"You're a human".
" What you just answered was a Turing test (3)"
And what you just given was the average human response. See, what does it read?"
Kannahamaru asked us
"Orange"
Answered Rocky and I dutifully.
"See your response is in par with average human responce"
We smiled.
"But.."
She began to sob, "I am a robot."
She produced a small knife with slim blade from her belt and made an insicion on her left wrist.
She began to bleed.
"What are you doing?"
Shouted Kannahamaru
"Never mind, it's just skin graft.
" See I'm a robot.I feel no pai….".
She couldn't complete the sentence obviously in pain.
Kannahamaru faced us and said
"She's delusional
Put her on Haldol
She will be fine by lunch"
Rocky had a cotton soaked in something. He showed it under her nose and after a bit of clawing on his face the girl toppled off on to Rocky's shoulder. He put her on to the bed.
"What the hell was that?"
Kannahamaru asked Rocky once the ordeal was over for good.
"Chloroform
I had some leftover from the Cockroach Business."
And for the last time, this is not a hospital and we don't store medicine grade tranquilsers. And you're no diagnostician."
"I watch a lot of medical dramas."
Said kannahamaru
"I watch The flash doesn't make me super fast."
I was actually watching these exchanges interestingly. If anyone could actually match Kannahamaru at least in verbal prowess it was Rocky.
____________________
"What are you doing?"
Shouted Kannahamaru
"Never mind, it's just skin graft.
" See I'm a robot.I feel no pai….".
She couldn't complete the sentence obviously in pain.
Kannahamaru faced us and said
"She's delusional
Put her on Haldol
She will be fine by lunch"
Rocky had a cotton soaked in something. He showed it under her nose and after a bit of clawing on his face the girl toppled off on to Rocky's shoulder. He put her on to the bed.
"What the hell was that?"
Kannahamaru asked Rocky once the ordeal was over for good.
"Chloroform
I had some leftover from the Cockroach Business."
And for the last time, this is not a hospital and we don't store medicine grade tranquilsers. And you're no diagnostician."
"I watch a lot of medical dramas."
Said kannahamaru
"I watch The flash doesn't make me super fast."
I was actually watching these exchanges interestingly. If anyone could actually match Kannahamaru at least in verbal prowess it was Rocky.
____________________
"Were am I?"
Our stranger was waking up. She seemed to be recollecting everything. Her eyes wandered about the room obviously looking for her weapons.
We had arranged those in the cupboard after a series of arguments. For once Kannahamaru was of the opinion that the arrowheads should be duct taped to avoid accidental cutting (paper cuts were Kannahamaru's third worst nightmare. After dogs and heights respectively). Rocky argued that it will render those invalid as weapons in case of a future attack.
Kannahamaru was hesitant
Our stranger was waking up. She seemed to be recollecting everything. Her eyes wandered about the room obviously looking for her weapons.
We had arranged those in the cupboard after a series of arguments. For once Kannahamaru was of the opinion that the arrowheads should be duct taped to avoid accidental cutting (paper cuts were Kannahamaru's third worst nightmare. After dogs and heights respectively). Rocky argued that it will render those invalid as weapons in case of a future attack.
Kannahamaru was hesitant
but agreed anyway. However he insisted on arranging the weapons in way that it satisfied his OCDs.
I had feeling that she'll dash out or try to reach her weapons. But thankfully none of that happened she just lay there and appeared too depressed to move.
I had feeling that she'll dash out or try to reach her weapons. But thankfully none of that happened she just lay there and appeared too depressed to move.
"I've been sent back in time to protect you."
"That sounds very clichéd"
Said Kannahamaru
"I've programmed to…"
"Programmed? didn't you mean briefed to?"
This was the moment when Harry Christian entered the room.
"I'm going out, do you guys want any…"
That's when he noticed the robot in quaestio
" Get me an egg sandwich, with oregano, onions and cheese, extra cheese. And make the bread whole wheat."
The answer however was definite.
"I didn't know you'd company"
He seemed unsure of himself.
Harry was Kannahamaru's old roommate and occasional partner in crime.
"This is Harry" Kannahamaru said to the robot
"Harry, meet the new robot sensation of the town… what was your name?"
"A1S34R7A"
Said her.
"C'mon!" They still name robots like in an 80's novel?
And since your robotalitiy been debunked by me, just give me your name ."
" That's my only name."
"We're just gonna call you Robo."
Said Rocky.
"Harry, Robo, Robo Harry"
Kannahamaru was already done with introductions.
Harry however seemed doubtful.
"You say you're a robot. Then how come you're hungry and want to eat?"
"I'm designed to digest and derive energy from biological sources. And I'm a stress-eater"
"But why not grass or ants or something?"
Harry wasn't giving up.
Robo gave him a sizing look and said.
"I said I'm a robot, not I don't have standards."
Kannahamaru was amused
"And by the way Harry, make that sandwich five. Let's see why that taste is future-proof."
Said him slipping Harry a ₹1000 bill.
____________________
"That sounds very clichéd"
Said Kannahamaru
"I've programmed to…"
"Programmed? didn't you mean briefed to?"
This was the moment when Harry Christian entered the room.
"I'm going out, do you guys want any…"
That's when he noticed the robot in quaestio
" Get me an egg sandwich, with oregano, onions and cheese, extra cheese. And make the bread whole wheat."
The answer however was definite.
"I didn't know you'd company"
He seemed unsure of himself.
Harry was Kannahamaru's old roommate and occasional partner in crime.
"This is Harry" Kannahamaru said to the robot
"Harry, meet the new robot sensation of the town… what was your name?"
"A1S34R7A"
Said her.
"C'mon!" They still name robots like in an 80's novel?
And since your robotalitiy been debunked by me, just give me your name ."
" That's my only name."
"We're just gonna call you Robo."
Said Rocky.
"Harry, Robo, Robo Harry"
Kannahamaru was already done with introductions.
Harry however seemed doubtful.
"You say you're a robot. Then how come you're hungry and want to eat?"
"I'm designed to digest and derive energy from biological sources. And I'm a stress-eater"
"But why not grass or ants or something?"
Harry wasn't giving up.
Robo gave him a sizing look and said.
"I said I'm a robot, not I don't have standards."
Kannahamaru was amused
"And by the way Harry, make that sandwich five. Let's see why that taste is future-proof."
Said him slipping Harry a ₹1000 bill.
____________________
Footnotes:
1: Title inspired from anime A certain magical index
2. References to movie franchise Terminator and movie : Back to the future.
3.Turing test : a test for intelligence in a computer, requiring that a human being should be unable to distinguish the machine from another human being by using the replies to questions put to both.
- google
____________________
Truth or fiction
* Rocky doesn't watch The Flash. It's Kannahamaru and the narrator who does. And Kannahamaru have watched at least one medical drama.
*Fear towards Paper cuts are as per the narrator's knowledge not a fear exhibited by Kannahamaru.
*Fear towards Paper cuts are as per the narrator's knowledge not a fear exhibited by Kannahamaru.
* The specification of the sandwich is by Kannahamaru and is taken from a live, hyperactive Kannahamaru.
* The brief introduction system is taken from TV series friends and used (notoriously) by the narrator.
Robo
Illustrations © Vipin R.
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