Monday 24 April 2017

Werewolves from the future ( Kannahamaru Chronicles #3)


Kannahamaru wandered into the room all panicked.
"Kannahamaru my friend, haven't seen you in while"
Said Rocky.
"Haven't been around here for a couple of days"
"What  happened to you? Jeez, you look like something the cat dragged in. And what's with that scar on your face? C'mon, K you're limping."
"Well, thank you for bringing that to my attention.And don't call me K. Like I  told you before."
"Kannahamaru is a mouthful"
Kannahamaru sank into the chair.
"I've been trying to solve this equation and a werewolf attacked me"
( werewolves are not the part of the regular Kannahamaru universe)
"What? And what? Werewolves- werewolves or werewolves?"
I couldn't help intervening.
"What's the difference exactly?"
"Well the first kind attacks you and you turn into a werewolf and stuff, these can only be stopped by a silver bullet and the second type, they're basically just hot. You throw in a couple of vampires and and that's that's a lot of money"(0)
"Neither. These were werewolves from future" (1)
"Future"
"A futuristic werewolf in the present"(2)
Rocky mused.
"Well let me tell you  how it all happened. "
Kannahamaru started.
The short and long of what he told us  was is as follows.
--------------------------
Kannahamaru was  trying to solve an equation (I'm not gonna say the exact variables or the degree of the equation for once it's too complicated for simple minds and it could be very dangerous if fallen into the wrong hands. What I could tell you is right outside this bracket) which could make temporal displacement possible ( Of course it involved tachyons. Time travelling always involves tachyons.)
And the werewolf appeared .  if you think the werewolf was a monstrosity, you're wrong. Imagine the cutest stuffed animal you could imagine. Multiple it's cuteness with 100. You've now got a werewolf.(Later we came to know that werewolves actually takes the form of what you think the pinnacle of cuteness.)
Kannahamaru's werewolf was 5 feat tall and it stood there blended in though appeared out of nowhere a few microseconds before.

"You die or you come with us"
"What...why?"
"We pinpointed this point in time-space where temporal manipulation equation was formed. As the sect of the secret werewolves who are actually the guardians of time itselt, we can't allow you to do that."
" We exist to prevent  time travelling "
"You prevent time travelling by travelling through time?"
Kannahamaru snorted
"We understand it's a necessary risk"

"Only if you beat me  in a game of chess"

"What?"
The werewolf asked.
"Come on,  my FIDE rating is 2536. Play with me and defeat me.
(Kannahamaru actually didn't have a FIDE rating. Instead he told the first four digit number that came into his mind, which incidentally was his ATM pin.)

Kannahamaru was certain about his impending doom when he was about nine  moves away from getting checkmated.( From the beginning he knew he was up against unfavorable odds but then he wasn't certain of defeat. Turns out the sect of werewolves practices chess with a religious vigour. He rather should have played ping pong. He chose the wrong movie) (3).  And then there were a lot of claws.

-----------------------
"So where is the werewolf?"
Rocky noticed that we were one werewolf short.
"I had to topple the steel shelf onto him. Or her or it. Do you think I should go and ask which way it wants to be addressed?
" We have bigger problems than it's gender identity or huma...werewolvality  if  that thing sneering at us from the staircase is the werewolf in question "
I said.
The werewolf was at Kannahamaru's throat in a moment Rocky hurled a shoe at the werewolf which knocked Kannahamaru to the ground. The werewolf was biting into Kannahamaru's arm and he was kicking and screaming at the werewolf and Rocky went to get his acetylene torch while I tried to beat the werewolf with the other shoe while the werewolf diverted it's attention to me. Rocky finally killed off the werewolf  with the  acetylene torch. We would have won quite easily if another couple werewolf hadn't appeared.
(If you actually paid attention to the title of this story you might remember it said "werewolves" thus multiple individuals. Turns out the werewolf  Kannahamaru encountered was still traped under the shelf)
A lot of things happened the next second. The werewolves were thrown against the wall  and were  pinned there with a couple of arrows and a beautiful female with short hair
wielding a composite bow appeared out of  nowhere.
"You need to get shots for those werewolf bites."
"If not will we turn into  werewolves?"
I couldn't help asking.
"No, you get rabies and you die."
"And Dr Kannahamaru, we need to talk."
Kannahamaru was quite dumbfounded but excited all the same by the strange address.

So long
.......................

Footnotes
:
0. About the folklore and old school horror movies/literature on  werewolves

1. — What if... What if it turns out they aren't terrorists? But they're actually werewolves? From the future?
- M. Night Shyamalan
( from southpark season 11 episode 'imaginationland')
http://southpark.wikia.com/wiki/M._Night_Shyamalan

2. Reference to cult werewolf movies such as  An American werewolf in London

3. Forrest Gump (1994) rather than The seventh seal (1957)

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Friday 21 April 2017

Power of suggestion ( Kannahamaru chronicles #1.5) English

"It might as well be power of suggestion."
The voice said.
"I looked around and saw 'the voice' standing by the  staircase.
We were hauling a cot from upstairs to what which would be our room for the following few months. And 'we'here means Rocky and I 'the voice' excluded.
And I was wondering about potential source of my itchiness from moving  the cot when the voice appeared with a rational explanation.
" Thank you "
I said to the voice.
"First things first." The voice said.
"My name is Kannahamaru and I want to be the greatest physicist ever"
We introduced ourselves and Kannahamaru wasted no further time with human niceties. He went on to describe  the 'science behind it'
"Power of suggestion is a psychological phenomenon in which we get physical symptoms like allergies because we are convinced that something happened rather than it actually did."

"Man this guy could really make extra-long sentences"
I thought.
Meanwhile rocky had already located the source of itchiness and tried to swat at it. Kannahamaru wasn't interested in less-abstract concepts like those.
" I will help you guys out "
Kannahamaru (Lord bless the good old Kannahamaru) said and grabbed an end of the cot. Not far away, the physical manifestation of 'power of suggestion' appeared again and it moved towards Kannahamaru as if to prove it's own existence. Kannahamaru was taken aback, but not enough to avoid rocky's  swat and the body behind it. And even Kannahamaru has to obey the law of gravity.

Kannahamaru frowned at the purely psychological pathway 'power of suggestion took' towards the next room.

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Thursday 20 April 2017

Hole in the wall (Kannahamaru chronicles #2)


"When you put your hand on the table top why doesn't it pass thorough ?
It should you, know considering matter consists of mainly free spaces"
Kannahamaru was in good spirits.


I looked across the room ,  Rocky was reading "Evolutionary adaptations of the..." Well what? I didn't look that long.
(Since we moved to the new hostel Kannahamaru became our immediate neighbor and eventually what I used to call an extended roommate.)
Yes, Kannahamaru was in good spirits. He pushed his glasses back with his ring finger and looked at Rocky. Then looked back at me. He was  making a point. Rocky was either upset or wasn't interested.
(We will get to it soon)
"So why doesn't my hand pass thorough the table or this wall, for that matter? "
Kannahamaru was caressing the wall.
"What's your point?"
"My point well, I cannot say a point because they are waves as much as they are particles, "
"Electrons my friend, electrons "
The electron cloud is what's that preventing my hand  from penetrating the wall. "
I had to imagine electrons as a swarm of angry bees refusing political asylum to kannahamaru's hand.

"No one understands electrons"
Rocky was up from his slumber.
Kannahamaru looked as if he's about to protest but soon remembered he has something better at hand.

"So that's obviously the election cloud of the wall  repelling the electron cloud of my hand."
He demonstrated it. "But if you need a little more punch, keep your wrist straight and form a first,  knuckles in a line, put your body  weight into the punch" he described the process as he did it. Somewhere along, the lecture stopped being on Quantam mechanics and started being a gym class. (  Kannahamaru knows the best.)
And
BANG!!
There was Kannahamaru-fist sized hole in the wall.
"sometimes we need punch through concrete walls because punching through problems is too mainstream" Kannahamaru ended the quote with a fullstop.

Illustrations by Vipin R
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Power of suggestion ( Kannahamaru chronicles #1)

"അത് പവർ ഒഫ് സജഷൻ ആയിരിക്കും"
എന്തോ ഒരു ക്ഷുദ്രജീവിയുടെ പേരാണ് അത് എന്ന് വിചാരിച്ച് കൊട്ടിക്കളയാനാണ് ഞാനാദ്യം നോക്കീത്.
"എവിടെ" "എവിടെ" എന്ന് പരിഭ്രാന്തിയോടെ ചോദിക്കുകയും ചെയ്തു.
കട്ടിലിന്റെ മറ്റേ അറ്റം പിടിച്ചിരുന്ന റോക്കിമോൻ അത് താഴെ വെച്ച് സാങ്കൽപ്പിക ജീവി പോയ ട്രാജക്ടറിയിൽ ഓങ്ങിയടിക്കാൻ ശ്രമിച്ചു.
"അതായത് ഇപ്പൊ ചൊറിയണം ആണെന്ന് പറഞ്ഞു വേറൊരു ഇല ദേഹത്ത് തേച്ചാലും ചൊറിയില്ലേ, ആ മാനസികാവസ്ഥയുടെ ആംഗലേയമാവുന്നു power of suggestion"
റൂമിലിടാൻ മുകളിലെ നിലയിൽ നിന്ന് കട്ടിലെടുക്കാൻ പോയതായിരുന്നു റോക്കിയും ഞാനും. അതിൽ നിന്നും എന്തോ ദേഹത്ത് തട്ടി ചൊറിഞ്ഞതിനു ശാസ്ത്രീയ വിശദീകരണം നൽകാൻ വന്നവനാകുന്നു കോണിപ്പടിയിൽ നിൽക്കുന്ന അർദ്ധ നഗ്നനായ മാന്യദേഹം.
"ബൈ ദ ബൈ മൈ നൈം ഈസ് കണ്ണഹാമരു, ഐ ആം ഇൻ ഫിസിക്സ്. മൈ അംബീഷൻ ഈസ് ടു ബികം ദ ഗ്രേറ്റസ്റ്റ് ഫിസിസിസ്റ്റ് എവ." ഇംഗ്ലീഷ്
പച്ചവെള്ളം പോലെ കൈകാര്യം ചെയ്യാൻ അറിയാവുന്നവനും ആകുന്നു അർദ്ധനഗ്നൻ. കേവല പരിചയപ്പെടലിനു ശേഷം
"ഞാനും നിങ്ങളെ സഹായിക്കാം"
എന്ന് പറഞ്ഞ് അഅർദ്ധനഗ്നൻ-കണ്
ണഹാമരു കട്ടിലെന്റെ ഒരു മൂലയ്ക്ക് പിടിച്ചു. അകത്തേയ്ക്ക് കയറുന്ന സമയത്ത്. ശരീരം മുഴുവൻ രോമങ്ങൾ ഉള്ള 'സാങ്കൽപ്പിക' ക്ഷുദ്രജീവി - power of suggestion കണ്ണഹാമരുവിന്റെ ശരീരത്തിലേയ്ക്ക് കയറി. ഒരലർച്ചയോടെ കട്ടിൽ താഴയിട്ട കണ്ണഹാമരുവും പോക്കിമോണെ പിടിച്ചുള്ള പരിചയത്തിൽ കുതിച്ച് ചാടിയ റോക്കിയും കൂട്ടിയിടിച്ച് നിലത്ത് വീണു. സാങ്കൽപ്പികൻ അടുത്ത റൂമിലേയ്ക്ക് മറഞ്ഞു... Power of suggestion പോയവഴിയിലേക്ക് നോക്കി കണ്ണഹാമരു തല തടവി..

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Prologue : The Alien debunker ( Kannahamaru Chronicles #0)

"In our planet..." the alien tried to continue.
Kannahamaru wasn't finished with why special theory of relativity wouldn't allow such a faster than light travel and how the mass of the spacecraft will edge towards infinity.
"... and that's why you wouldn't be able to exist and travel to here."
Said him.
"Science admits when it's wrong. But it never is."
"But... "
Kannahamaru smacked the alien with a book which had 'quantum theory of fields' written across it.
"And that's how you fight ignorance with education."
Said Kannahamaru to the air.

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